With the explosion of new communications technologies
enabling instant correspondence between any two people in the
world, it is no surprise that more and more men are looking
overseas in their search for the perfect life partner. While
myths still persist surrounding foreign brides,
many men still look for, and find foreign brides, and
the reasons are as myriad and diverse as the women themselves
are.
A quick survey of foreign brides Web
sites would show that these marriage-minded women, most of
whom come from Russia, Asia, Latin America, and the former
Soviet Union, prefer to carry with them their cultures and
customs wherever they go. A clear understanding of customs and
traditions of these foreign brides is
necessary in order to throw light on the foreign bride
phenomenon and the reasons why foreign brides seek
Western husbands.
Myth No. 1 : Foreign Brides Are
Submissive, Domestic Slaves
One of the most widely perpetuated stereotypes about foreign
brides purports that these women are submissive,
undemanding, and willing to play the part of indentured
servants to their Western husbands. We have to thank biased
media representations of foreign brides for
the persistence of the old saw about “submissive exotic
women.” Traditionally, foreign brides are
loyal, faithful, and devoted to family, qualities that are
often misconstrued as submissiveness. A combination of
economic and cultural realities have made extended-family
living arrangements a norm for many foreign brides, and
this experience has taught women the art of compromising, the
clever use of tact, and the skillful negotiation of family
rules. Thus, to these women, upholding family values remains
an enormous source of pride.
Myth No. 2: Foreign Brides Are
Opportunistic Gold-Diggers
While there is no denying that a substantial number of foreign
brides hope to lead a better life in the west, it is just
as legitimate to argue that a fat bank account does not top
the list of qualities that these women look for in men. What
women want is a man who is honest, loyal, sincere, respectful,
and able to provide for the family’s basic needs. This is the
same in the West also. A foreign bride does
not harbor the illusion of landing a millionaire for a
husband, but instead pins her hopes on finding a man with
strength of character, a shared respect for family values, and
the financial means to adequately support a family.
Myth No. 3: Foreign Brides Are
Under-Educated or Worse, Illiterate and Uncultured
No other part of the world places a higher premium on
education than the countries where most foreign brides come
from. Thus, it is not unusual to find a foreign bride who
touts a college degree (some even have postgraduate
credentials tucked under their belt), speaks excellent
English, and can tell the difference between Yo-Yo Ma and the
rapper Yo-Yo. Because she is a healthy balance of traditional
values and a modern, tolerant outlook, the foreign bride
possesses the intelligence and sensibility to adapt to a
western environment without sacrificing her norms and
customs.
Myth No. 4: A Foreign Bride Will
Abandon Her Husband Once She Gains Citizenship in His
Country
A foreign bride who
decides to marry a western man will have to leave the safety
net of family, friends, and culture. Stepping foot into a
strange country where the only person the foreign bride knows
is her husband could be stressful and emotionally trying, at
times. But the foreign bride knows
that she needs to make the initial sacrifices in order to
achieve what she has come to the west for: to build a happy
family with her loving and caring husband and to secure a
stable future for their children. Marrying a foreigner and
starting a new life in a faraway country are not decisions
that a foreign bride arrives at hastily. It is preposterous to
think that a foreign bride who
leaves her native country to be with her husband will chuck
everything as soon as she gets her citizenship. Make no
mistake about it: once her mind about settling abroad is made,
a foreign bride will
do everything in her power to build a happy home and keep her
marriage together.
Foreign Brides :
The Common Thread
Though their heterogeneous backgrounds guarantee that no
two foreign brides are
alike, these women share a number of qualities that make them
ideal mates for Western men. Women from foreign countries
value trust, loyalty, sincerity, and are extremely devoted to
family. Because of their expected roles within society as
nurturers and caregivers, foreign brides
adapt easily to domestic life and do so with utmost pride.
True, a marriage to a foreign bride has
its share of ups and downs, but judging from the positive
experiences of western men who have found their life partner
on the other side of the Atlantic, the ups far outweigh the
downs. Foreign brides are
gentle, respectful, and loving, and any western man who wins
the heart of such a foreign bride
should consider himself blessed.
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