It is well known that falling in love with a Ukrainian woman is
incomparable. But how well do you know the customs and
traditions that Ukraine women
observe and cherish? Can you tell a kolach from a kutia? Does
your idea of a perfect, healthy meal include big helpings of
pork fat? Take our quiz to find out if you are ready to be
tied to your Ukrainian bride.
What is Ukraine’s greatest legacy to
mankind?
a. The Chornobyl nuclear disaster
b. Wheat,
grains, and cereals for making bread—lots of it.
c.
Those lovely painted eggs.
d. Beautiful, loving,
caring Ukraine women who
make faithful life partners and
devoted mothers.
While reading up about the native country
of your special Ukrainian woman,
you discover that Ukraine’s topography consists almost
entirely of steppe. Without reaching for the dictionary, can
you guess what a steppe is?
a. The next big fitness fad after Tae-Bo
b. Ye
olde English spelling for “step.”
c. That Graf tennis
player who married Andre Agassi
d. Gently rolling,
partially wooded plains.
Which of the following gestures is
considered appropriate when having dinner at the home of a Ukrainian woman’s
family?
a. Cribbing at the dinner table about how everything in
the country—from the
president
to public restrooms—sucks.
b. Refusing a second
helping of borscht and salo.
c. Insisting on wearing
your Allen-Edmonds leather shoes inside the house.
d.
Bringing gifts for the Ukrainian woman
and her family.
Pop quiz, hotshot: As you prepare to leave
your host’s abode, you see the father of your special Ukrainian woman
puckering up to kiss you good-bye. What do you do?
a. Swear up and down that you “don’t swing that
way”?
b. Cough exaggeratedly and make up some scary
story about having successfully
evaded a SARS check at the Hong
Kong international airport two weeks ago.
c. Pretend
you didn’t notice and just quickly hug the old man before he
gets another
idea.
d.
Give him a big, slobbery kiss, too. (and thank yourself for
using a mouthwash
before coming
over.)
Which of the following is not celebrated as
a national holiday for your special Ukraine woman and
her fellow Ukrainians?
a. Christmas
b. Victory Day
c. Independence
Day
d. Every other date that doesn’t turn up red in
the calendar.
The Ukraine woman you
love greets you with a “Merry Christmas!” on January 7th.
You:
a. Fear that she’s gone fruity.
b. Suspect
that she only wants to go shopping.
c. Vow to sue the
pants off the company that printed the calendar on your
desktop.
d. Hope the one and only Ukraine woman of
your life will be delighted with her
new pair diamond
earrings.
At one point during the wedding of your
special Ukraine woman’s
friend, you see the priest bind the hands of the bride and
groom with an embroidered cloth. Instinctively, the first
thought that comes to your mind is:
a. “Ooh, kinky…!”
b. “Didn’t know you could do
that with a piece of cloth!”
c. “Somebody in this
church must be frantically searching for her
towel.”
d. “What an exquisite rushnyky motif!”
At the reception held for the newly wedded
Ukraine woman and
man, you find big loaves of bread laid out on the table, but
no wedding cake. You conclude the breads are:
a. dinner rolls…and the cake will come later.
b.
some sort of an “inside village joke”.
c. an attempt
by Ukraine women and
men to reclaim their country’s former glory as the
“breadbasket of Europe.”
d.
traditional Ukrainian wedding breads called “korovai,” which
are decorated with symbols that
represent the everlasting union of the couple getting
married.
Who among the following famous
personalities was not born in Ukraine?
a. Igor Sikorski
b. Golda Meir
c. Jack
Palance
d. Roman Polanski
True or False: Making the “O.K.” or “Good”
sign (thumb and forefinger touching in a circle) to express
satisfaction is considered a polite gesture by Ukraine
women and men.
a. True. It’s a universally accepted indication of
approval.
b. False. That gesture is seen by many Ukraine women and
men as vulgar.
c. Neither. It doesn’t mean anything
to Ukraine women and
men.
d. Who cares? You never really liked that
gesture anyway.
Scoring:
1. a - 0, b - 1, c - 2, d - 3
2. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
3. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
4. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
5. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
6. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
7. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
8. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
9. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3
10. a - 0, b - 3, c - 0, d - 0
If you scored:
28 - 30:
Congratulations! You’re ready for the wedding train. Your Ukraine
woman must be really proud of you for amassing a wealth of
knowledge about her country and her culture.
18 - 27: Not so
bad. You must really love your Ukrainian woman because you’ve
certainly done your homework.
9 - 17: Could
do a little more research. But it’s no reason to fret. The Ukraine
woman you are going to marry loves you anyway.
0-8: Oh, cheer
up, man! The beauty of sharing your life with a Ukrainian woman is
that you learn something new every day.
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