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Are You Ready to Marry a Ukrainian Woman?

It is well known that falling in love with a Ukrainian woman is incomparable. But how well do you know the customs and traditions that Ukraine women observe and cherish? Can you tell a kolach from a kutia? Does your idea of a perfect, healthy meal include big helpings of pork fat? Take our quiz to find out if you are ready to be tied to your Ukrainian bride.

What is Ukraine’s greatest legacy to mankind?

a. The Chornobyl nuclear disaster

b. Wheat, grains, and cereals for making bread—lots of it.

c. Those lovely painted eggs.

d. Beautiful, loving, caring Ukraine women who make faithful life partners and
    devoted mothers.

While reading up about the native country of your special Ukrainian woman, you discover that Ukraine’s topography consists almost entirely of steppe. Without reaching for the dictionary, can you guess what a steppe is?


a. The next big fitness fad after Tae-Bo

b. Ye olde English spelling for “step.”

c. That Graf tennis player who married Andre Agassi

d. Gently rolling, partially wooded plains.


Which of the following gestures is considered appropriate when having dinner at the home of a Ukrainian woman’s family?

a. Cribbing at the dinner table about how everything in the country—from the
    president to public restrooms—sucks.

b. Refusing a second helping of borscht and salo.

c. Insisting on wearing your Allen-Edmonds leather shoes inside the house.

d. Bringing gifts for the Ukrainian woman and her family.

Pop quiz, hotshot: As you prepare to leave your host’s abode, you see the father of your special Ukrainian woman puckering up to kiss you good-bye. What do you do?

a. Swear up and down that you “don’t swing that way”?

b. Cough exaggeratedly and make up some scary story about having successfully
    evaded a SARS check at the Hong Kong international airport two weeks ago.

c. Pretend you didn’t notice and just quickly hug the old man before he gets another
    idea.

d. Give him a big, slobbery kiss, too. (and thank yourself for using a mouthwash
    before coming over.)

Which of the following is not celebrated as a national holiday for your special Ukraine woman and her fellow Ukrainians?

a. Christmas

b. Victory Day

c. Independence Day

d. Every other date that doesn’t turn up red in the calendar.

The Ukraine woman you love greets you with a “Merry Christmas!” on January 7th. You:


a. Fear that she’s gone fruity.

b. Suspect that she only wants to go shopping.

c. Vow to sue the pants off the company that printed the calendar on your desktop.

d. Hope the one and only Ukraine woman of your life will be delighted with her
    new pair diamond earrings.

At one point during the wedding of your special Ukraine woman’s friend, you see the priest bind the hands of the bride and groom with an embroidered cloth. Instinctively, the first thought that comes to your mind is:

a. “Ooh, kinky…!”

b. “Didn’t know you could do that with a piece of cloth!”

c. “Somebody in this church must be frantically searching for her towel.”

d. “What an exquisite rushnyky motif!”

At the reception held for the newly wedded Ukraine woman and man, you find big loaves of bread laid out on the table, but no wedding cake. You conclude the breads are:

a. dinner rolls…and the cake will come later.

b. some sort of an “inside village joke”.

c. an attempt by Ukraine women and men to reclaim their country’s former glory as the    “breadbasket of Europe.”

d. traditional Ukrainian wedding breads called “korovai,” which are decorated with symbols     that represent the everlasting union of the couple getting married.

Who among the following famous personalities was not born in Ukraine?

a. Igor Sikorski

b. Golda Meir

c. Jack Palance

d. Roman Polanski

True or False: Making the “O.K.” or “Good” sign (thumb and forefinger touching in a circle) to express satisfaction is considered a polite gesture by Ukraine women and men.

a. True. It’s a universally accepted indication of approval.

b. False. That gesture is seen by many Ukraine women and men as vulgar.

c. Neither. It doesn’t mean anything to Ukraine women and men.

d. Who cares? You never really liked that gesture anyway.


Scoring:

1. a - 0, b - 1, c - 2, d - 3

2. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

3. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

4. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

5. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

6. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

7. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

8. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

9. a - 0, b - 0, c - 0, d - 3

10. a - 0, b - 3, c - 0, d - 0

If you scored:

28 - 30: Congratulations! You’re ready for the wedding train. Your Ukraine woman must be really proud of you for amassing a wealth of knowledge about her country and her culture.

18 - 27: Not so bad. You must really love your Ukrainian woman because you’ve certainly done your homework.

9 - 17: Could do a little more research. But it’s no reason to fret. The Ukraine woman you are going to marry loves you anyway.

0-8: Oh, cheer up, man! The beauty of sharing your life with a Ukrainian woman is that you learn something new every day.





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